Paris is 4,000 miles away. The summers are humid. Rats dominate the Metro. The people eat snails. They just slurp them right up, and honestly, who can even understand the French language anyway? Imagine all of that during the Olympics on top of piles of sweaty flesh blocking your view of the Seine. Don’t fear. The International Olympic Committee has spared us the nuisance (and expense) of traveling to Paris by bringing a taste of France to Orlando with the Marathon trials that were hosted on February 2. You can’t watch people push their bodies to the absolute limits in the presence of Buddy Dyer and strangely aggressive swans in Paris, and, yes, the Arc de Triomphe is cool and all, but it will never compete with Beefy King’s Je ne sais quoi.